Limitless Ramblings

Dooo Dooo Dooo DooooYeah Yeah
Dooo Dooo Dooo Doooo
Dooo Dooo Dooo DooooYeah Yeah
Dooo Dooo Dooo Doooo


There was a time when all was broken, The fault was mine
I watched my bridges burning, I had started the fire
I ran out of hope, I ran out of excuses
I ran out of time, I ran into You and learned…


That your love is the one thing that I can’t run out of
Your love is the one thing that’s always been enough
And there is never a time when you’re not by my side
You’ve proven your love is the one thing that I can’t run out of


Dooo Dooo Dooo DooooYeah Yeah
Dooo Dooo Dooo Doooo


Such conviction, there’s no question that I was being chased
Goodness and mercy, both follow me, I was stalked by grace
I ran out of fear, I ran out of losing
I ran in and found you running to me….yeah…


Your love is the one thing that I can’t run out of
Your love is the one thing that’s always been enough
And there is never a time when you are not by my side
You’ve proven your love is the one thing that I can’t run out of


Dooo Dooo Dooo DooooYeah Yeah
Dooo Dooo Dooo Doooo


There is never a time when you’re not by my side
You’ve proven your love, is the one thing
Your love is the one thing…


Your love is the one thing that I can’t run out of
Your love is the one thing that’s always been enough
And there’s never a time when you’re not by my side
You’ve proven your love is the one thing that I can’t run out of


Dooo Dooo Dooo Doooo Oh Yeah Yeah
Dooo Dooo Dooo Doooo
Yeah your love is the one thing
Oh Yeah
You’re always, always by my side


Your love is the one thing
Your love is the one thing
Your love is the one thing
Your love is the one thing
Your love is the one thing
Your love is the one thing….

So - I was going to cheat and give you just a bunch of blog posts from the boys, but I decided against it and wanted to try my hand at giving you all a REAL post for once. I've been kind of lame the past few days - I used friends as an excuse but really, I just haven't had anything to blog about. Now, don't worry, I'll still share Donnie's holiday wishes with you - it was the one that made me smile the biggest. But I'll just link you to Jon's and Joe's... But before I do that, let's get this underway.

Christmas is only something like 6 days away... and I have to step back and review how remarkable it is that it's so close. I've been thinking back to years passed, and I can't remember a single time when Christmas has ever snuck up on me. As far as I can remember, it's always been me at the very start of December anticipating Christmas and it's gift bearing arrival.

It isn't so this year. I haven't done any Christmas shopping, and the gift bearing arrival is less than a week away. Not to mention, it's not like my days are empty from now till then...

So - I think it has something to do with the fact that this year, I really dove into life. In years passed, December meant the end of school, the end of responsibilities, the end of the year. December meant relaxation, it meant family visiting, it meant a new start. It meant Christmas, and I had always anticipated that season, even if I had my moments when I despised Christmas day. Not actual Christmas day; I didn't despise Jesus' birth, but I despised the Americanized Christmas, the one that meant people being insane and rushing around and buying gifts and thus buying people's love. No matter how I was feeling, though, Christmas always stayed the same, and it never snuck up on me.

This year, Christmas must have spent it's off season training to be a ninja because I didn't even see it coming till I read someone's Happy Holiday's blog and went, HOLY HAITIAN, BATMAN! Christmas is just around the corner!!!

And I'm not looking forward to it one bit - but we aren't there yet.

I think the reason it snuck up on me is, like I said, I dove into life this year. December was by no means easy - I had a lot to look forward to, and a lot I had to do. Instead of having just 1 night of an improv show I had to do, I had 2 nights of a skit show, a children's musical, and 2 nights of an adult Christmas musical. I was helping write the skit show - which happened to fall on the same night as the children's musical, so that was a crazy day - and I directed, blocked, etc. etc. for the Adult musical, as well as acted in it. The adult musical was a week after the Skit show/Children's musical, so I pretty much didn't even see December show up. I was so focused on getting everything put together and not crashing and burning that I was 2 weeks into December before I realized what month it was. ((Anyone who's wondering, everything went REALLY, REALLY well. Thank goodness - it was all God, too))

Now, like I said before, I'm not looking forward to Christmas one bit. One reason is because, like I said, I haven't gone shopping, and I don't have much money to do so even if I wanted to. Another reason is that neither my brother OR my grandpa are coming down to visit this year. I got to see my Grandpa over Thanksgiving but I haven't seen David in a while and I miss him, and I really wish he was coming down.

But the biggest reason would be, I don't want 2008 to end. Interesting conclusion, if you look back to a lot of my blogs/rants/whatever you want to call them from the middle and beginning of this year. A lot of crap happened this year that, at the time, I hated. I can't exactly talk about all of it here, but basically 2008 was filled with anxiety, disappointment, heart break, more disappointment, financial crisis, more heart break, more anxiety, and a presidential election (lol).
But if I really break it down, I had a pretty good year. I dealt with the anxiety, I learned from the disappointment, I got through the heart break, and I grew as a person.

I had a lot of questions at the beginning of this year - do I really want to be an actress? Do I have what it takes? Am I too old? What am I gonna do without my friends? Am I going to be alone forever? Is this where God wants me in life? Am I missing his signals? etc. etc. whine whine so on and so forth.

But to be completely honest, this year was one of the best of my life, not the worst, and I don't want it to be over. I don't want to have to tackle another year when I've already achieved so much in this one.

Do I really wanna be an actress?? the answer to that is ABSOLUTELY I DO. I've been through so much acting wise this year, and OMG I loved every second of it! I may have complained, ripped my hair out, lost sleep, ran from place to place, freaked out, and panicked, but it was fantastic, and now I know I can do it even through all of that. Will it get worse? Will it get more difficult? I hope so! I'm looking forward to where this will take me - even if it ends up fizziling out in the end.

Do I have what it takes? I'm still alive, aren't I? I'm actually extremely proud of myself for not giving up. Never in my life have I had something in my hands for the first time and NOT quit when things got difficult... It means something - at least to me - that I stuck it out with all that was going on. Says to me that, if I don't yet have what it takes, I'm pretty dang close.

Am I too old?? That was the hardest one to get over, to be completely honest. I was so sure that I had missed my chance. I hadn't gotten started when I should have, and now I was far too old to acquire the skills I needed to make it far... that I was too old to get started in this profession, I was too old to turn heads. It wasn't until September that I was finally able to admit that there's no such thing as too old... Sept. 28th to be exact... if that date means nothing to you, well, then... I can't help you... but I know there are people out there that know what it is. The live Boston broadcast, the one that perked my radar... the one that got me asking questions, and ultimately lead to me seeing THIS music video and crying tears of joy. Clearly, there was no such thing as "too old" when it came to talent.

What am I going to do without my friends? This question was in two parts... but it doesn't matter the details behind the two parts, because I really didn't have to ask that question. The truth is, I have some AMAZING friends, ones that I didn't even know I had, and I don't need to worry about not having any unless I go through some drastic personality changes and chase them all away. :)

Am I going to be alone forever?? Absolutely not. Even if I never find a significant other, I still have amazing friends, family, extended family, etc, that are always going to be there, and even if I chase them all away - I've learned that God will still be there for me... I'm not going to be alone forever, because I was never alone to begin with.

Is this where God wants me in this life? Am I missing his signals? I think I've experienced enough of God telling me what to and what NOT to do that, if I missed his signals telling me I'm on the wrong path, they've been REAL subtle. And it's been my experience that God is not into subtlety.

I like who I've become - I like how much I've grown in this past year, and I think that's why I don't want the year to end. In all reality, I don't want to say goodbye. As soon as this year ends, it's all a memory... it's all a memory now, but when the year ends I have to start saying last year, 2 years ago, 3 years ago... etc. etc.

I hated this year when it started, didn't want anything to do with it... but now I can honestly look back on the past year, on the choices I had to make, on the events I had to go through, and say I'm honestly glad I lived through it all. Say I'm THANKFUL for every pitfall, every tough decision, every night I cried myself to sleep or ran home angry at people that meant the world to me. I'm thankful for the chance to have to figure out how to piece my heart back together, I'm thankful for everyone God gave me to help with that process. I'm thankful for every single second I tore my hair out and got stress induced stomach aches. I'm thankful for the fact that I have no fingernails, lol. Because now I'm someone I never thought I could be; I've seen things in myself that I didn't think I had, I've witnessed myself do things I didn't think I could do. I've surpassed even MY expectations. I'm thankful for all of that, because without it, I couldn't sit here and be thankful for all that came from it.

Merry Christmas, everyone, and a Happy New Year.

Now - you may be asking why I chose to share Donnie's blog with you instead of Jon's or Joe's... and to be completely truthful, it's not because Donnie's my favorite, or because I absolutely love him, and it certainly isn't because Jon's and Joe's posts aren't as good... it's simply because Donnie's post was my inspiration. Remember? Last post I said inspiration was going to bean me in the head with a 2x4??? Well, apparently, inspiration is not as mean as I thought he would be... he instead gave me a bear hug and patted me on the head. Plus, Donnie's post just made me smile... they usually do... and... well, Kayla you know the rest... :)

So - here:

Happy Holidays, everyone!

~L.

I was tagged in this, and seeing as I am running out of things to blog about, I figured I'd just go ahead and do it today, until inspiration sneaks up and beans me in the head with a 2x4.

Again, I won't tag you and force you to do it - I'll only tag you if you've already tagged me... although, Randy, I'm tagging YOU in this, because I think you might enjoy doing it. You don't have to if you don't want to.

So - without further ado!!!

Here are the ten questions (compiled by Bernard Pivot) that James Lipton asks every guest on Inside the Actors Studio, along with my own responses. - Tag it and make sure to send it back to who tagged you....

1. What is your favorite word?
You know, tough question. I have a slew of words that I absolutely love more than any other words in the English language. I believe these words are more than just words, they carry a load of meaning with them, and among those words are "Believe," "Hope," and "Love." But, since I'm only allowed to pick one, I'd say that "Believe" would have to be my favorite... I think it comes with the most meaning, as well as a sense that nothing is lost, that as long as you set your heart to something, it'll happen. Now, I know this isn't always true, but it's a great concept, isn't it? Carries a sense of positivity with it - and what do we need right now more than positivity and belief? eh?

2. What is your least favorite word?
Irregardless - it isn't a word, but everyone says it. yes, it's in the dictionary, but the Prefix "ir" and the suffix "less" cancel each other out - so if you're using it to say you don't care for something, you're really saying you do.

3. What turns you on?
There are a lot of things I'd like in a man, but honestly, the one thing that really gets me is a great smile. I'm weak for that... my 3 favorite actors caught my attention with their smiles. :) The way I see it, a smile is something you can perfect, so if you have a great one, more often then not it means you smile/laugh a lot, and it's a way of seeing if someone has a good sense of humor without knowing them. Plus, nothing brightens eyes, and shoot - the whole FACE - like a smile. :)

4. What turns you off?
Arrogance, easy. I can't stand people that think they're God's gift to the earth... really can't. Now, I want somebody who is confident about who they are - I don't want a push over... but I don't want someone who's arrogant.

5. What is your favorite curse word?
YAHTZEE!! I realize it isn't a curse word - but really, what makes a curse word a curse word? What makes the F bomb any worse than any other word?? the context - the SUBtext... when broken down, they're just words, driven only by the meaning we give them. So, anything said with negative subtext is a curse word. Now, certain words are designated as curse words due to how long they've been around, so I like yahtzee because it's not as offensive as the others... because, let's face it, sometimes you just gotta say something.

6. What sound or noise do you love?
I'm a huge fan of music... I don't have a designated style that I listen to... I'm not a fan of today's rap, but older stuff is pretty good... when it was a little less explicit... However, my favorite sound is when a group or a choir or whatever uses little or no instruments, and makes the music with their voices... harmonizing and what not, to the point where you don't really realize that there isn't any background music. It's a beautiful sound. Also - I'm a fan of a thick, intoxicating laugh... one that, when you hear it, you can't help but at least smile.

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
The nails-on-a-chalkboard-esque sound that's made when a fork squeaks on a glass plate. Just thinking about it makes me shudder... it's a horrible noise... it's like having an itch in your brain that you CAN'T. SCRATCH. I also can't STAND the sound of people yelling at each other. Breaks my heart.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
oooo... good question... I'd like to be a producer... mostly because I don't know exactly what they do, but I know they make the world go round. Movies, music, doesn't matter, I'd just like to see what it's like. Also - I'd love to be a person that empties out porta-potties. It'd be the best job ever... I mean, think about it. If your JOB was to empty out porta-potties, and you got up at 5 in the morning to do that.... it doesn't matter what the rest of your day is like. Whatever happens, it's going to be better than what you did at work.

9. What profession would you not like to attempt?
Wow... that's a good question, too... what would I not like to attempt... hmmm... Therapist. I think I'd be bad for that job... I'm so intolerant of people that refuse to help themselves - I don't think I could sit in a room for hours on end and just listen to people complain about their lives when they won't do anything to change it. Now, I know that not everyone that gets a therapist refuses to help themselves, but I know that there are those that don't, and as soon as I get someone like that, I give them two sessions before I just say "wow, shut up and do something about it. Sheesh - how do you expect things to change if you won't actively pursue a chance to change them?" It's a personality flaw. 'XD

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
I know that a lot of people would like to hear "well done good and faithful servant" or "welcome home, my child." Stuff like that. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to hear that, but what I'd really like is to get to Heaven, have God open the gate, and smile at me as I walked through. Give me a hug, and then laugh and say, "and you thought you weren't gonna make it." It'd prove to me that God has a sense of humor... lol.


---guess I should say something I'm thankful for... I'm thankful for these little survey things, so that I have something to blog about, and I'm thankful for the internet... I finally got my hands on Music for the People!! :)

I was tagged in this - it gives me something to do - but I won't tag any of you in it and force you to answer the questions. If you want to, go ahead, it's up to you. :)

1)What city do you live in? City?? I'd hardly call this a city... I live in Merced. It's between two cities... lol.
2)what song sums up your life right now? I would have to say "Fine Line" by Paul McCartney. :)
3)Pick a character you would play in a movie. Who & why? Hmm... that's a really REALLY good question. Let's see.... any character to play in a movie and why... Rose from Stephen King's Rose Madder - that story is absolutely insane, and I think it'd be a challenge to portray Rose, as well as SO MUCH FUN.
4)Your favorite X-men character? I've always been a huge fan of Gambit, and was sooo mad when he didn't appear in any of the X-men films. Gambit was the shiznite.
5)Gryffindor? Slytherin? Ravenclaw? Hufflepuff? choose your house Hufflepuff is where it's AT!
6)what is your Ethnic background? Quarter Navajo Indian, and then... I think.... maybe Irish?? I could be wrong about that.
7) when is your birthday? March 2, 1988 - same day as Dr. Seuss and Daniel Craig. :)
8)Who in your family knows you best? My mom, probably.
9)What Actor/Celeb/Athlete is the man of your dreams? OH MAN... that's too wide a spectrum, so I'll pick one for each category. ACTOR: Kevin Spacey (runners up: Zac Efron, Rob Lowe, Mark Wahlberg, Anton Yelchin, Matthew Broderick) CELEB: Donnie Wahlberg (Runners up: There are none. Donnie wins everything. lol) ATHLETE: Jerry Rice!!! :) (runners up: Ladainian Tomlinson, Matt Hasselbeck, Shawn Alexander, Matt Ryan)
10)Favorite Batman Character? The Scarecrow and Mad Hatter. They just don't make villains like that anymore.
11)What movie can you recite every single line to? O Brother, Where Art Thou? LOVE that movie. Also, PF and A Bug's Life.
12)The one place in the world you would love to visit? If you say "come with me off to Massachusetts," then to Massachusetts we will go. We will buy dishes there - maybe even two sets! Buy the finest China then we'll dine a while on crepe suzettes.
We will build model boats off in Massachusetts, there in Massachusetts in the bay - put them together and wait until the glue sets. While we wait we'll polka for the folk along the parapets.
Off to Massachusetts - yes we're off to where the shops are sweet! We will play minuets off in Massachusetts - Boston, Massachusetts - Beacon Street!
13)Favorite Cartoon Character? Chowder!!
14)What is something you can do without in your life? Rumors.
15)What Color is your IPOD? (assuming you have one) My iPod is white. :)
16)do you speak any other languages? Sign Language, a tad bit of Japanese, Spanish, and I'm learning Navajo.
17)What is the most addicting online game you've played? Word Whomp Derby - CURSE YOU HEATHER!
18)What type is your hair. curly,straight,or wavy? Stupid. That's what type my hair is. Really, really, stupid.
19) Do you like to play/watch sports? Does a fish like to swim? does the pope wear a big hat for special occasions?
20)Do You look like either of your parents? *sigh* I have my mom's eyes and hair, I think I have my mom's feet and my dad's toes, and I think I have my dad's ears and nose.
21)What's something you really want the New year to bring you? The epic end to my long journey for face time.

Made this playlist today - I usually theme my playlists. Your job is to find out what the common theme is between all these songs! :)

Also - that sixteen facts thing.... I've been tagged so many times, I guess I have to do it now, huh?

Okay you get the drill. Once you've been tagged, you have to write a note with sixteen random things, shortcomings, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end choose sixteen people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

1. I HATE the number 16 - that's why I put this off as long as I could.

2. My favorite M. Night Shyamalan movies are The Sixth Sense and The Happening - coincidentally, both star a Wahlberg brother - Donnie is in the Sixth Sense (PROOF) and Mark is in The Happening (PROOF).

3. My favorite flavor of Wheat Thins is Sundried Tomato and Basil.

4. I like the fact that you can name your iPod, but because I have the option of naming it, I am forced to come up with witty word play names, such as "Once iPod a Time in Mexico," "i-Pod-Di, i-Pod-Da," and "iPod It (The Right Stuff)." My favorite name, however, is "Sweeney Pod, the demon MP3 Player of Fleet Street."

5. I still love N'SYNC.

6. I don't like gummy bears, but I eat them all the time... the only ones I actually like are the clear ones.

7. My favorite soda is Big Red. I realize it tastes like cough syrup - I still like it.

8. I can count cards... and knew how to do so BEFORE the movie 21 came out.

9. I can say "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" backwards.

10. I'm going to see Wicked next year. I'm so excited about this, that every day that I remember that I'm going is the best day of my life.

11. Stephen King is my favorite author. My favorite novel of his is "IT," and my favorite short story is "The End of the Whole Mess." If I had to choose between the two, "The End of the Whole Mess" would be my favorite, hands down.

12. The only time I've ever SCREAMED for joy upon hearing the cast of a movie adaptation of a Stephen King book was when Ron Livingston (Band of Brothers, Office Space) was cast as Howard Fornoy. My favorite cast of a movie adaptation of a Stephen King book, however, is Damian Lewis (Band of Brothers), Thomas Jane (The Punisher), Timothy Olyphant (Hitman), Jason Lee (Alvin and the Chipmunks), Morgan Freeman (Gone Baby Gone), and Donnie Wahlberg (Band of Brothers).

13. I hate shoes, but I'm a HUGE supporter of socks.

14. I was a closet New Kids on the Block fan, though I just recently came out about my fandom when they released their new CD and announced they were getting back together. However, my family still does not know how much, or for how long, I have loved the New Kids. A while back, we found a towel on the side of the road, and we picked it up. It ended up being a NKOTB towel, and we kept it and took it home and washed it and we still have it to this day. Everyone uses it, but I secretly claimed it as mine.

15. I'm a geek... or a nerd... whichever term you prefer. I'm fairly well read when it comes to comic books - I know my super heroes inside and out. I make references to Star Trek, and often. I have all 6 Star Wars movies, as well as the soundtracks to movies 1 - 4... I have the 2 disc special edition soundtrack to A New Hope. I could talk for hours about Transformers or the Fantastic Four, or why the ending to Spider Man 3 sucked. Really, the list goes on. I'm quite a loser.

16. I can say "Fuzzy Mountain," "hi," and "Jesus Loves Me" in Navajo.

Okay, now I have to pick 16 people to tag....

Heather Holt - Because I wanna see if she can think of 16 things that I don't know... lol.
Randy May - he tagged me, and also, because I figured he might laugh at some of the things I wrote.
Mikayla Cooke - She ALSO tagged me. lol.
Donna Binkholder - Tagged me as well.
Amber Clements - Tagged me.
Courtney Grossl - Tagged me.
Ana Temblador - Because I think you'll laugh at at least ONE of my iPod names. :)
Jolie McLane - Because she said she'd ignore me if I tagged her... haha!
Melissa Culver - in case she's bored and wants something to do, she can do this. I'd be interested to see hers!
Stephanie Gerk - We haven't talked in forever... maybe this will start a convo. lol.
Nathan Koehler - cuz he's Australian, and that's cool.
Kevin Shewey - He never reads these notes, and I needed another name.
Christa Bruner - It'd be interesting to see her 16 facts!
Nancy Hoppe - I forgot to tag her in the Secret video, so I'm making up for it. lol.
Meredith Wilson - um.... I don't know why. I'm really bad at reasoning out my actions... lol.

I love VHS videos... I dug out a few of my old ones today, because I'm hanging out with friends again and we weren't sure if we were going to get a hold of a DVD player.

I've decided I REALLY miss VHS... I agree that DVD quality is better, but I liked the feel of VHS. It makes me a tad nostalgic...

Don't get me wrong, I love DVDs. It's great to be able to just JUMP to the place that you left off, and they're smaller and easier to carry around.

But VHS just has a FEEL to it... one that DVD can't ever reproduce... so, I've decided, I miss VHS. I really hope some small little company continues to make VCRs because I'm not looking forward to the end of VHS. :(

*hugs VHS tapes* I've missed you.

Get ya mind right!

~L

***UPDATE***

So, tonight we played a game called Pictaphone. Basically, it's like Telephone and Pictionary... one person writes a caption, the next person draws a picture to that caption. The third person then has to write a caption based on the picture, without seeing the original caption, and so on and so forth till it goes all the way around and the first person gets it back. It's GREAT fun!!! Here are a few of mine that turned out HILARIOUS... lol.

Our theme was movie quotes, and it went like this.

Lauren: "Everything in my factory is edible. Even the people are edible - but that is called cannibalism, and is frowned upon in most societies." (It's from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)

Troy: Troy draws THIS based on the quote:

Jen: Jen then captions it: "Midget monsters in a fiery castle eating a man."

Heather: (draws a picture based on Jen's caption)

Cody: (captions heather's pic) "Cocaine's a hell of a drug."

Randy: (draws a picture based on Cody's caption)


Here's the other one that made us laugh:

Lauren: "The nazis had pieces of flair they made the Jews wear." (Office Space)

Troy:

Heather: "Hitler is a sad man. The coward has no medals."

Cody:

Randy: "Don't drink - Satan's orders."

LOL - it was a great time!! :) I don't know if I've laughed that hard in a LOOOONG time... I'm so glad my friends are back home! :) And I'm glad the musical went so well... and I'm glad it's OVER!! lol - time to REST!! :)

***UPDATE END***

I'm thankful for friends being home... I'm spending time with them now, which is why this is the shortest, most lame, retarded post in the world.

GO FRIENDS!

Randy just broke something, I'm sure... lol.

I'm going to try and make this post interesting...

What do you call a Fish without an i? That's not as funny when you don't SAY it... lol!!!

I'll give you all a better post tomorrow, I PROMISE.

Get ya mind right.

~L

***AUTHOR'S NOTE - if you're in the drama/christmas musical and I tagged you in this notes, chances are I do ACTUALLY talk about you... haha.

Ok - so, as many of you know... let's rephrase that... as many of you DON'T know, and as many of you may have found out today - I've been steadily freaking out about the drama portion of the Christmas musical. Not only do I have a part in said drama, but I'm in charge of it - which means blocking, lighting direction, mic hand offs, everything was my shtick. Today was particularly difficult... I couldn't sleep AT ALL last night, I was pretty much obsessing over it... the run through on Saturday had not been horrible, but I had dropped a few lines, and I was a bit upset with myself, and started freaking out about everything. Ugh.

Not only was I not able to sleep a WINK last night, but I had to be at church early, to work in the Nursery... as much as I love children, I wasn't really looking forward to spending my morning with them on only a few moments of sleep... and as I got ready, I kept obsessing about the SAME. THING. I forgot to call Frank and see if I could use his CHP shirt for one of the scenes. That was the one thing bugging me. I had filled all the roles, I had blocked all the scenes. I had made adjustments where they needed to be made - worked with the sound and lighting guys, crammed lines... all in a week. Now, going over it, I figure I should have been pretty satisfied with the work I had put in, but this morning, all I could focus on was that shirt, and how the play was ruined without it.

But God is amazing... As I walked up to the preschool building, I looked who at who was in front of me... a woman with a little blonde girl... her hair in pig tails.

It's amazing what a couple years of being a nanny can do. When you're just "aquainted" with kids, most of them look the same from behind. But I knew this little girl - I knew who she was as soon as I saw the color of her hair - and immediately my day was better. I jogged to the preschool building and caught up with them inside. Reese always puts a smile on my face and brightens my day! :)

But what's amazing about this is Reese is Frank's grandaughter... which meant she was with Grandma. I immediately snatched up the moment, asking if I could borrow a shirt for the musical that was TODAY... apologizing for the late notice - and we were able to get it!! So you think I'd breath this huge sigh of relief, right? I did... for about an hour. By the time I got home, I was so nervous again, I couldn't take a nap - which is what I NEEDED to do. I did a few things online, tried to get my mind off of things, but I just couldn't. By the time I decided to do my hair, I was all but shaking. I was frantic. I tried to get everything together, and when I left the house, I realized I couldn't find the camera, and I had forgotten my jacket. Luckily, we had the wrong call time, and were able to chill and get some starbucks and grab the stuff from the house... (As I type this, I realize my Venti Chai Tea Latte, no water, 2 pumps peppermint, and whip is still at the church. DAAAAAAAAANGIT) But as soon as we got in the building, I was anxious again. I had called Lisa and run our scene a couple of times, ran the scene with Sean a couple times, and ran everything else through my head. My mom kept telling me I had nothing to be nervous about - but quite honestly, I think I would have been nervous even if I had had a YEAR to prepare. It was my baby; the first production I wasn't only a part of, but that I was in charge of. If it bombed, it was my head. It wasn't even so much my cast that I was worried about, as it was myself.

But everything flowed together REALLY well - I surprised myself, and everyone REALLY stepped up. The drama was fantastic, and the choir... OMG. Everything just went SO. WELL... and there's no doubt that that was all God. I met so many smiling faces when it was over, so many people were pleased with it, and I was kind of surprised that it was over. It went by so smoothly, and so FAST.

I want to share a portion of the program with you - it's the part that has touched me no matter what I'm feeling, no matter how many times I see it. We have this young woman in our church named Tisha - and I tell you what, Tisha can SING. But it's not even just that she's AMAZING - she's so full of passion, and she's got one of the most amazing Choir arrangements to sing... the choir really steps up and backs her, and the whole performance is just AMAZING. I'm moved to tears every time I see it... and these aren't just little, nestle-in-the-corner-of-your-eyes tears... no - these are full on ugly cry tears. It's an AMAZING song, and the choir does SUCH a good job... I know a lot of you can't see the musical, so I recorded this particular song... It's absolutely AMAZING!!!

There's one part where the orchestra drops out and the choir takes over, and OMG... if you aren't moved by that, I don't know what's wrong with you! It's absolutely beautiful.

But I think what gets me the most is Tisha and how full of passion she is... she really puts her all into the song and is in tears by the end... she's moved by the message and the beauty of it all WHILE SHE'S UP THERE SINGING. It must be amazing to be in her position... between the choir and the orchestra, completely enveloped in the moment and the song, everything around her... The video is uploading to youtube now, and I'll have it up as soon as it's ready... I want to share it with everyone because I truly think it will touch your hearts as well.



All in all - the whole production was amazing and I am SO glad to be a part of it! :)

So - this being a December NaBloPoMo blog... what am I thankful for???

I am thankful for every single one of my cast mates - all of you are amazing, especially those of you who were willing to step in last second... Stephanie, Lisa, Mom, Sean, and Vicki - thank you for sacrificing your time and willingly serving the Lord - and helping me out in doing so! :) Your dedication and hard work has REALLY paid off, and it's been a blast working with you! Kevin B. and Mikayla - thank you for being so flexible and working with me, even though you only got the scripts a few days ago... you both did amazing. Thank you for also sacrificing your time!! :) KEVIN SHEWEY - Thank you so much for saving my butt last second!!! I WILL mention it often! ;) You're doing a great job - I know the last thing you wanted to do as SOON as you got home was another show, so thank you SO much for helping out!

All of you are fantastic and are working so hard, and it means a LOT to me! I could have spent years on this program and it would have been horrid if it weren't for all of you!

I'm thankful that we are blessed with such an amazing choir - all of you are so talented and the music sounds absolutely BEAUTIFUL! ESPECIALLY Not Unto Us! :) There is no doubt in my mind that each and every one of you is touching a heart tonight!! :D

Tyson - Tyson and ALL HIS HARD WORK. Our church is blessed with a simply AMAZING music pastor with an AMAZING heart for God and worship. I am blessed every Sunday I get to experience him leading worship - he's amazing and I don't think he gets told that enough. What's more, he was INCREDIBLY easy to work with. Him being a grump could have totally ruined this experience for me! :) The program is AWESOME!

Kay - for giving me this chance. As stressful as it was, I am truly glad I had this opportunity... it's an experience I won't soon forget, if I forget it at all! Like I said before, as much as I griped and freaked out and stressed, if I truly hated it, I would have given up. I'm so glad I didn't.

I want to thank everyone that came, and everyone who encouraged me... especially Kayla - girl you have NO IDEA how much your words really pushed me onward. :) I would have been dead without your encouragement! And also everyone for their kind words afterward...

And finally - I'm thankful for God... for a lot of things, but right now, for just being so gosh darn AMAZING.

I'm so pleased with how everything turned out. :)

Break a leg tomorrow, everyone - and get ya minds right! :D

~Lauren