You free me up to live this life

***AUTHOR'S NOTE - if you're in the drama/christmas musical and I tagged you in this notes, chances are I do ACTUALLY talk about you... haha.

Ok - so, as many of you know... let's rephrase that... as many of you DON'T know, and as many of you may have found out today - I've been steadily freaking out about the drama portion of the Christmas musical. Not only do I have a part in said drama, but I'm in charge of it - which means blocking, lighting direction, mic hand offs, everything was my shtick. Today was particularly difficult... I couldn't sleep AT ALL last night, I was pretty much obsessing over it... the run through on Saturday had not been horrible, but I had dropped a few lines, and I was a bit upset with myself, and started freaking out about everything. Ugh.

Not only was I not able to sleep a WINK last night, but I had to be at church early, to work in the Nursery... as much as I love children, I wasn't really looking forward to spending my morning with them on only a few moments of sleep... and as I got ready, I kept obsessing about the SAME. THING. I forgot to call Frank and see if I could use his CHP shirt for one of the scenes. That was the one thing bugging me. I had filled all the roles, I had blocked all the scenes. I had made adjustments where they needed to be made - worked with the sound and lighting guys, crammed lines... all in a week. Now, going over it, I figure I should have been pretty satisfied with the work I had put in, but this morning, all I could focus on was that shirt, and how the play was ruined without it.

But God is amazing... As I walked up to the preschool building, I looked who at who was in front of me... a woman with a little blonde girl... her hair in pig tails.

It's amazing what a couple years of being a nanny can do. When you're just "aquainted" with kids, most of them look the same from behind. But I knew this little girl - I knew who she was as soon as I saw the color of her hair - and immediately my day was better. I jogged to the preschool building and caught up with them inside. Reese always puts a smile on my face and brightens my day! :)

But what's amazing about this is Reese is Frank's grandaughter... which meant she was with Grandma. I immediately snatched up the moment, asking if I could borrow a shirt for the musical that was TODAY... apologizing for the late notice - and we were able to get it!! So you think I'd breath this huge sigh of relief, right? I did... for about an hour. By the time I got home, I was so nervous again, I couldn't take a nap - which is what I NEEDED to do. I did a few things online, tried to get my mind off of things, but I just couldn't. By the time I decided to do my hair, I was all but shaking. I was frantic. I tried to get everything together, and when I left the house, I realized I couldn't find the camera, and I had forgotten my jacket. Luckily, we had the wrong call time, and were able to chill and get some starbucks and grab the stuff from the house... (As I type this, I realize my Venti Chai Tea Latte, no water, 2 pumps peppermint, and whip is still at the church. DAAAAAAAAANGIT) But as soon as we got in the building, I was anxious again. I had called Lisa and run our scene a couple of times, ran the scene with Sean a couple times, and ran everything else through my head. My mom kept telling me I had nothing to be nervous about - but quite honestly, I think I would have been nervous even if I had had a YEAR to prepare. It was my baby; the first production I wasn't only a part of, but that I was in charge of. If it bombed, it was my head. It wasn't even so much my cast that I was worried about, as it was myself.

But everything flowed together REALLY well - I surprised myself, and everyone REALLY stepped up. The drama was fantastic, and the choir... OMG. Everything just went SO. WELL... and there's no doubt that that was all God. I met so many smiling faces when it was over, so many people were pleased with it, and I was kind of surprised that it was over. It went by so smoothly, and so FAST.

I want to share a portion of the program with you - it's the part that has touched me no matter what I'm feeling, no matter how many times I see it. We have this young woman in our church named Tisha - and I tell you what, Tisha can SING. But it's not even just that she's AMAZING - she's so full of passion, and she's got one of the most amazing Choir arrangements to sing... the choir really steps up and backs her, and the whole performance is just AMAZING. I'm moved to tears every time I see it... and these aren't just little, nestle-in-the-corner-of-your-eyes tears... no - these are full on ugly cry tears. It's an AMAZING song, and the choir does SUCH a good job... I know a lot of you can't see the musical, so I recorded this particular song... It's absolutely AMAZING!!!

There's one part where the orchestra drops out and the choir takes over, and OMG... if you aren't moved by that, I don't know what's wrong with you! It's absolutely beautiful.

But I think what gets me the most is Tisha and how full of passion she is... she really puts her all into the song and is in tears by the end... she's moved by the message and the beauty of it all WHILE SHE'S UP THERE SINGING. It must be amazing to be in her position... between the choir and the orchestra, completely enveloped in the moment and the song, everything around her... The video is uploading to youtube now, and I'll have it up as soon as it's ready... I want to share it with everyone because I truly think it will touch your hearts as well.

All in all - the whole production was amazing and I am SO glad to be a part of it! :)

So - this being a December NaBloPoMo blog... what am I thankful for???

I am thankful for every single one of my cast mates - all of you are amazing, especially those of you who were willing to step in last second... Stephanie, Lisa, Mom, Sean, and Vicki - thank you for sacrificing your time and willingly serving the Lord - and helping me out in doing so! :) Your dedication and hard work has REALLY paid off, and it's been a blast working with you! Kevin B. and Mikayla - thank you for being so flexible and working with me, even though you only got the scripts a few days ago... you both did amazing. Thank you for also sacrificing your time!! :) KEVIN SHEWEY - Thank you so much for saving my butt last second!!! I WILL mention it often! ;) You're doing a great job - I know the last thing you wanted to do as SOON as you got home was another show, so thank you SO much for helping out!

All of you are fantastic and are working so hard, and it means a LOT to me! I could have spent years on this program and it would have been horrid if it weren't for all of you!

I'm thankful that we are blessed with such an amazing choir - all of you are so talented and the music sounds absolutely BEAUTIFUL! ESPECIALLY Not Unto Us! :) There is no doubt in my mind that each and every one of you is touching a heart tonight!! :D

Tyson - Tyson and ALL HIS HARD WORK. Our church is blessed with a simply AMAZING music pastor with an AMAZING heart for God and worship. I am blessed every Sunday I get to experience him leading worship - he's amazing and I don't think he gets told that enough. What's more, he was INCREDIBLY easy to work with. Him being a grump could have totally ruined this experience for me! :) The program is AWESOME!

Kay - for giving me this chance. As stressful as it was, I am truly glad I had this opportunity... it's an experience I won't soon forget, if I forget it at all! Like I said before, as much as I griped and freaked out and stressed, if I truly hated it, I would have given up. I'm so glad I didn't.

I want to thank everyone that came, and everyone who encouraged me... especially Kayla - girl you have NO IDEA how much your words really pushed me onward. :) I would have been dead without your encouragement! And also everyone for their kind words afterward...

And finally - I'm thankful for God... for a lot of things, but right now, for just being so gosh darn AMAZING.

I'm so pleased with how everything turned out. :)

Break a leg tomorrow, everyone - and get ya minds right! :D


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