Progress and another Excerpt!

I need to start writing. It's always more difficult when I'm starting a new section.

But seriously, I cannot believe I finished 3 sections. I am so much further than I ever thought I'd get! I still have a lot to do... I'm 14k from the finish line, but I don't think I'll be able to finish my story in 50k words. It may take more. I'm just hoping I can finish it correctly, rather than rush it all in and ruin it.

I'm also not looking forward to killing off a character that I know needs to die.

Short excerpt this time around. Time to set it up? Yeah sure okay.

After the dream Vivian had of Psyche's death, she decided to inform Eric of what she had seen. Eric, absolutely heartbroken over the news, can't help but associate Vivian with Psyche's death and begins to push her away, seeing as it is too painful to be near her. In a last ditch effort to get away from her and the pain he feels when he sees her, he goes back to his birthplace of Australia to go to UWA, completely cutting off communication with Vivian.

Vivian manages to move on with her life, despite the blatant snub by her so called friend, and ends up moving away from San Francisco in favor of Merced's smaller setting. A year later - after having established herself in the small town and done well enough for herself after college - Eric contacts her out of the blue, saying he's coming home and would like to see her. She agrees to the meeting, but quickly regrets it once she finds out Eric's intentions.

After quite the argument, the two find themselves on somewhat friendly terms, and Eric agrees to stay in the states indefinitely. However, things are far from over when a mysterious man kidnaps Vivian's mother and threatens her to stop digging deeper into her dreams. Vivian, however, defies the man and attempts to contact Athena.

“So now you know.”
“Yes.” Vivian tried to get a bearing on her surroundings, but there was nothing but darkness. Darkness, and Athena.
She was beautiful. There was a slight resemblance between the two, but Athena was quite a sight to behold. Her skin was fair and cream colored, and contrasted beautifully with her dark brown hair. Her hair was unbelievably long and seemed to cascade around her and everywhere. And then there were her eyes. They were dark; not quite brown, not quite black, and seemed to be holding back infinite wisdom.
“Ask your questions, child.”
“Can I release you, simply by saying so?”
“In a way.”
Her lips were perfectly formed and only added to the perfect construct of her face. She barely moved them as she spoke.
“What does that mean?”
“You were created so that I may have a prison. Everything you are, I am. And everything I am, you are. I possess the powers of a goddess and, if you give me control of this vessel, I will be able to use them.”
“If that’s all it takes, then why did you wait so long to have this meeting?”
“Everything you are, I am. As you grew, you developed very human like qualities. As a child, you were very in touch with your roots. You behaved and carried yourself as if you were a goddess. You had no time for the frivolous things of childhood, and that is partly my fault. I didn’t know what to do.” She smiled. “But as you grew, you drifted further away. You gained human qualities, like fear and doubt. Each made it more difficult for me to get through to you. I could not meet with you until you were certain you were not insane.”
“But… if we’re the same person, than what is this? How are we speaking?”
“You’ve heard of Multiple Personality Disorder,” she said. “The banishment spell Hera used creates something like that. It splits the divinity from the rest of the personality, thus creates two consciousnesses – one primary, one secondary. The secondary consciousness is then put to sleep, and the primary consciousness lives its life. Unless the two consciousnesses rejoin, there will be no awakening.”
“Has it happened yet?”
“Almost,” she said, tilting her head. “Eric has come very close numerous times.”
“Eric?” Vivian asked, cocking an eyebrow. “Are you kidding me?” She laughed.
“Yes. Eros was a very human deity to begin with. He married one, and thus the gaining of human characteristics did not hinder him as much as it did me. However, the loss of Psyche held him back, and Eric distancing himself from you did not help the case. He is now awakening, but not fast enough. I must—”
“No,” Vivian said. “I’ll let you do what you need… combine my consciousness with yours and tell you where all of my research notes are, but you have to do something for me. You have to give Eric a choice.” Athena considered convincing her that waking Eros would be best, but she knew it would do no good. They were the same person, after all, which meant Vivian was just as stubborn as she was.
“As you wish,” she said.
“And I’m assuming you have some story you’ll feed my parents? Well, my dad at least…”
“Yes. If all else fails, they can forget you even existed.” That stung Vivian. The thought of her parents forgetting she ever existed bothered her, but she knew it was just one more sacrifice she would have to make in order to give Earth any hope.
“One more question for you… got any grapes?” Athena cocked an eyebrow and Vivian laughed. “Sorry, it’s… Eric would have gotten it. Seriously, though… what’s going to happen to me when you go to Olympus to stop Hera? I assume you won’t need my body then.”
“I wish I could tell you, child.” Athena’s voice was grave, and Vivian nodded. That was what she had expected to hear.
“Best guess?”
“You will cease to exist.” She nodded again. “We are the same, and our minds will become one… once I leave this body, it will render it a shell… in theory.”
“I can’t say goodbye to Eric, can I?”
“It will make Hera too wise to what we’re planning.” She nodded once more, then forced a smile, knowing there were tears in her eyes.
“But you’ll tell him I said goodbye?” She nodded. “And you’ll tell him that I love him? Not like… you know what I mean.” It did not show in her eyes, or her voice, or anywhere no her face, but her heart broke for the girl. She understood the feeling, the need to have someone, even if not romantically. The hardest part in all of it had been watching Vivian become a separate person, watching her grow close to Eric. She knew what he meant to Vivian, how could she not? She had always had a soft spot for Eros, had always envied how much he could love someone. In the end, she had been envious of Vivian, for creating with Eric the relationship she herself was never able to construct with Eros, or anyone for that matter.
“I shall tell him everything.”
“Thanks…” She look up at Athena and nodded. “So, what do I do?”
“Accept me,” she said. Vivian stood straight, hands at her sides, remembering what her mother taught her about good posture. She wasn’t sure why she felt she needed to present herself in a manner that was so proper, but she did. She gave her head a quick shake, wiggled all her fingers, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.
She wondered how it would feel to merge with the other half of your mind. Part of her thought it might hurt, another thought it could be similar to the warm feeling you get when you have a good laugh. She wondered if it would be cold, or if she would just get dizzy and feel like she was swimming. It didn’t matter, however. There was no feeling. Not warm, or cold, or dizzy. In the end, there was nothing.
In the end, there was darkness.

When Eric awoke, Vivian was gone. He figured she had woken up sometime in the night and had gone to her own room, so he didn’t think anything of it. Instead, he focused on the previous night. He was surprised at how comfortable he was with her, despite how he felt about her. He had been wary to call what he was feeling love, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that’s exactly what it was. And it had always been there. What he was feeling wasn’t too different from what he had always felt with her. He had always found her laugh intoxicating, had always found her smile beautiful. The only difference was now he wanted them for himself.
He decided it was only fair to tell her. If the previous night had been any indication, she either felt the same way, or had no idea he had feelings for her at all. He was assuming it was the latter, and thus it was necessary to make his feelings known.
He wasn’t concerned until he found her I the living room, surrounded by papers and books. She was sitting, cross-legged on the floor, looking through something that looked oddly familiar. He took a step toward her when the phone rang, making him jump. She looked up and watched him turn to answer it.
“Don’t,” she said. He looked at her, and she dropped her eyes back into the book.
“Why not?” He asked.
“It’s just the preschool, calling to see why I quit. Fair enough, I didn’t really give them a reason, but I don’t have time to deal with it now.”
“You quit?” He asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. “Why?” He remembered the conversation from the night before and shook his head. She had said she loved it, had said she was happy. “What’s going on, Viv?” Her eyes snapped back up to his, and something in the look she gave him made his skin break out in goosebumps. Something wasn’t right.
“I can understand where you might be confused,” she said. “But I assure you, Vivian is no longer in this body.” She watched his face fall, fought the urge to feel bad for him, and gave him an empty smile. “Are you fully awake? I need to discuss a few things with you.” He finally recognized the book she was reading to be Vivian’s journal… the one she claimed to have done away with.
“When is she coming back?” That smile never left Athena’s face. “Is she coming back at all?” Athena shook her head, and Eric laughed. “So she went ahead with it… no goodbye, nothing.” He seemed to be talking more to himself than to her, but she still felt the need to speak up.
“I’m afraid that was my fault. We had to act quickly, before Hera knew what was happening.” He walked into the room and fell onto the couch. It wasn’t fair. He had finally decided to move on, to live without Psyche, only to have the new object of his desire stolen as well. “She did tell me to tell you goodbye,” she said, and he looked up at her. His eyes were locked with hers, and he looked as if every word she was going to say was precious. As if he knew he was never going to talk to her again, therefore each and every one of her last words would be a treasure to him. She thought the idea ridiculous, yet still felt somehow envious of him. “She also said that she loved you. You were the best thing to happen to her, and she absolutely treasured your friendship, even when your attitude was less than ideal.” He smiled. “You meant everything to her. She knew she would probably never fall in love with anyone – also my fault – and thus let herself love you completely. Letting go of you was difficult for her.” All he could do was nod and look at his hands. “That feeling,” Athena said, placing a hand over her chest. “I’ve never felt it before.” He ran a hand through his hair and looked at her, knowing he had no reason to hate the woman before him but being unable to stop himself.
“What did you need to discuss with me?” He asked, and she snapped the journal closed and handed it to him. “There’s an entry from about a year and a half ago. The night she told you about Psyche.” He leaned forward and took the journal from her and, as he did, a couple of his fingers closed around hers. They locked eyes for a second and Athena quickly yanked her hand away. Eric sat down slowly, never taking his eyes off of her.
He couldn’t explain it. When he touched her hand, it was as if some part of him rejoiced at the touch. Something inside of him yearned for her touch when he pulled away. He knew he wasn’t attracted to her – something about how she was no longer Vivian turned him off – but something still wanted to be near her. Likewise she, having never experienced love before the encounter with Vivian, had definitely felt something when they touched. She wasn’t sure what she had felt, or why she had felt it, thus felt he appropriate response would be to drop her gaze and withdraw her hand.
“The entry discusses the comparisons between you and the god Eros. If you look at it, you’ll see that the comparisons are quite –”
“Okay, so she thinks I’m Eros. She told me that.”
“She didn’t only think you were Eros, she was convinced of it. And so am I. Somewhere inside of you is the god of love, and I’m afraid I need to ask you to let him out.” Eric blinked. “Rather, I need your permission to release him.”
“You’re giving me a choice?” He asked, cocking an eyebrow. “Why?”
“She asked me to,” Athena said. There was something in her voice that angered him. Her requesting he have a choice in the matter meant a lot to him, and she was treating it as if it were no big deal.
“Then I’m going to need some time to think about it.” He said it to spite her. He had lost Psyche, had lost Vivian… neither of which he could control. But he could control how long he made her wait, he could control what decision he made. And he would.
“You do that,” he said. Her tone was still uncaring, as if she didn’t give a rip either way. She immediately turned her attention to another group of papers, which only angered him more.
“I will,” he said, leaning back and opening the journal. “I will.”

Oh yeah, Eric fell in love with Vivian. He wasn't really supposed to do that... I feel kind of bad making him suffer more heartache than he should have to, but... well, it's his own fault. He had no business falling in love with Viv.

I am going to miss writing her, though.

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