Not all change is good

I was rereading some old blog posts and came across a few I wrote while I was reading. I really liked reading them... I seemed like a totally different person back then. There was so much joy in my writing, so much passion for what I was reading.

I miss those days. I miss being able to be completely and wholly consumed by a work of literature. I miss being able to immerse myself in different worlds or eras. I miss being able to construct sentences with a far larger vocabulary than the one I presently have.

I feel like I saw the world in a brighter light then, like it was easier to be optimistic. And the more I write this, the more desperate I get to dive back into that world. I always say the biggest mistake made by a victim of any type of apocalypse or totalitarian regime is the inability to sit down and read, the inability to educate oneself. I've become that type of person. In my rabid rush of a life; amidst my jobs, my volunteer work, my obligations, and the day to day drama, I've become that which I warn about the most.

I hate that books have taken the back seat out of everything. I'd be alright with pushing exercise, television, and even gaming into the background, but books? When did I become that person? When did I decide it was okay to sacrifice the one inanimate thing I love more than any other inanimate thing... and for what? Added stress in my life? A greater sleep deficiency than that which I started with? A dose of drama that slowly but surely drains my energy and - more importantly - my creativity? I gave up books for this?

I can't wait for the summer. I cannot wait till I can sit back and let my mind worry about writing and reading, maybe the occasional movie.

I used to look at insanely attractive celebrities and think, "oooo, he/she would be really great for the character of this book I'm reading/story I'm writing!" Presently, I just look at attractive celebs and see them as just that: attractive celebs.

However, the other day I saw a picture of Rami Malek and my brain literally screamed at me that he'd be the perfect archetype for a character I'm slowly constructing. I placed an attractive celeb as a character I was constructing. My mind used the word "archetype" without batting an eye. This excites me to no end.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am on my way back. :)

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