What Have I Done?

I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach - no doubt it contributes to the mild level of continuous irritation I've been feeling lately - that I may have signed up for more than I can handle.

I mean, when I signed up for NaNoWriMo, I was like... you know, if I don't finish, I don't finish. It'll be fun, I have an idea, blah blah blah. I was nervous, but excited.

Now, after spending some time around some of the other competitors, I feel like I've not only bitten off more than I can chew, but I've bitten off more than can even fit in my mouth.

Most everyone competing... are you kidding me? They're all real writers! So many questions are asked, and I'll step in and say something like "Well this is what I do," only to be followed by a comment that's like "DO NOT DO WHAT SHE DOES SHE'S DUMB." I'm just like... meep...

I'm just like... I don't really want to even try to add something to this... cuz it'll look like bigger crap next to the literary awesome these people are probably capable of.

I want to back out so hard core... but I signed up! And as many times as I tell myself it's okay to just walk away, I can't do it! So that's where I am right now. Sitting back, wishing I had writing talent, and stock in Starbuck's. XD

Speaking of which, I'm compiling a list of things I need to do to complete this goal... even though I know I'm going to fail. How's that for reverse cynicism? XD


  • Get stock in Starbuck's. No joke, I'm going to be pulling a TON of all-nighter's while doing this. It's not even funny.
  • Organize my ideas. I have an outline, but it's not... it's like... beginning of story... middle... beginning... end... beginning... change something... it's a mess, really.
  • Pick a point of view. This is the hardest thing, next to picking a title!!! I can't decide if I want to do third person of first person in my novel... both have their advantages... but both have their problems. GRRR.
  • PICK A WORKING TITLE. I feel like everything will flow a little easier if I have a working title. The only thing I have right now is "Discord in the Garden" and I HATE it... and I'd really like to not have to rush around and try and figure out a title AND try to write the thing in November...
  • Work out the kinks in Eric and Vivian's initial meeting. I know how I want their relationship to end up, and I know how I want them to meet... I just don't know how I want them to react upon meeting. Everything I come up with is SO cliche or Mary Sue...
  • Think up last names. Seriously... if everyone in my book is named "XXXXXX Ineedalastname", it's going to create a lot of confusion.
  • Pace myself. If I write for 5 hours a day, cranking out 400 words an hour, I can reach the word count by the 25th. That being said, I can feel it right now, I'm going to have to have non-writing days and catch up days. I just can't have 14 catch up days in a row... I'm thinking about planning out my non-writing days and catch up days... it might go smoother if I have a plan. I also don't think it would be a problem to do an extra hour or so if I'm on a roll, or do more than 400 words an hour... obviously. I'll be playing it by ear, but if I can get a good enough feel for the 400/5, I should be fine.
  • HAVE FUN WITH THIS!!! That's the one thing I need to keep telling myself. I've decided whatever I turn out will be crap, but I know for a fact I won't like anything if I don't enjoy writing it to begin with.
  • Build a playlist to write to. This will be difficult, too. I already know The Hush Sound will be on loop on my computer, but there will be times when I just need instrumental music, no words, so I can think clearly and let the scenes flow.
So yeah, that's my check list. Have any ideas? Send them on over!!! But I really am only willing to accept last names/writing playlist ideas. Everything else I need to work out on my own... XD

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