5 Things I Hate About Life

I've been really stressed out lately... REALLY stressed out. For a while, I was just saying it was because I had so much on my plate, and I would feel better when things slowed down. Unfortunately, that isn't happening. I then just told myself it was because I had so much off in the distance, so much that was going to happen, so I was still stressed... that I would feel better when everything was over and done with. But I don't think that's it, either... I've had a bit of time to myself in the past week, and I've been doing a bit of cleaning - which is when I normally get a lot of my thinking done - and I've come to a few conclusions as to what may be causing this stress.

1. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I have some plans and ideas, but nothing really amazing... nothing concrete... nothing PRACTICAL. I honestly can't see myself making it big as an actress, no matter how hard I try - no matter how much I love it, I just don't see it going anywhere, and I've been struggling with that. I've entertained the idea of giving up on it, too - but I can't picture myself behind a desk for the rest of my life, either. I REALLY can't picture myself in an office... there are really only 2 things I'm really passionate about - acting and children, and I don't know how much of a living I can make with either. I just don't want to be stuck doing something I absolutely hate.

2. The whole being single thing is bugging the HELL out of me. I know it shouldn't, but it is. There's always that one thought in the back of my mind, telling me that I'm going to be alone forever if I don't get a jump on this now. I'll joke about it and laugh it off, but it really does bother me... at this rate, I'm going to end up in a job I hate, without anyone special to complain about it to.

3. People in leadership roles that won't take leadership initiative drive me batshit crazy!!! I realize I'm not an exceptional leader - but as indecisive as I am, I'm at least organized. I can take a situation and map out a game plan, a course of action. I can pick out the most time efficient route while cleaning or putting stuff away. I'm all about diagrams and graphs, drawing out charts to figure things out. And I'm not afraid to jump in and pick up someone's slack, even though I don't want to. How hard is it to take a little initiative? I realize not everyone has the leadership gift, but COME ON, PEOPLE. We can't all sit in a circle and cry about how NOTHING gets done, then refuse to do it ourselves! If you want something done the way you want it done, get up and do it! If you don't like how something is being done, do it yourself! Quit crying about how nothing is meshing - MAKE IT MESH! People are goofing around? LAY DOWN RULES. Nothing is going to happen at the drop of a hat - Rome wasn't built in a day! - but NOTHING is going to happen ever if we just sit and cry about how no one listens, or nothing is done, no one wants to do anything, blah blah blah. You've got hands, feet, a voice - take care of the problems. It's really not all that hard. I can feel myself getting short with these people - but you know what? I'm not even going to apologize for it... do not - I MEAN DO NOT - cry about problems, then be a complete and total Debbie Downer when I offer suggestions on how to fix it. Do not tell me something won't work until AFTER you try it. If I offer you suggestions and you refuse to do them, then I AM going to snap at you, I am going to be short with you, because it shows me that you don't want anything to get done, you just want to cry to me and have me stroke your ego and tell you you're doing everything you can - and I won't do that if you AREN'T DOING EVERYTHING YOU CAN. I'm sorry. I don't mind you complaining to me, but be prepared to take action... and STOP MAKING ME WANT TO PULL MY HAIR OUT. I'm seriously surrounded by people like this.

4. Hypocrites. That's all I'll say - I can't get into this one because I will lose my mind. You all know who you are - if you don't... you will know soon.

5. Having absolutely no control of my life. I realize I'm supposed to let go... but is it really supposed to be THIS stressful?? Ugh.