RSS

If you're ever asked if you like Twilight, nod your head, smile, and say "Yes, of course."




Why? Well... I'll tell you why... but first, let's tackle the WHAT.

What is TWILIGHT?

Twilight is a book series by Stephenie Meyers, about a girl who falls in love with a vampire. It's also a new cult among teenagers.

No joke. If you've never read these books, I don't recommend them. I personally didn't enjoy them at all... there were too many things that bothered me, even outside of the lack of editing. If you have children, I recommend not letting them read it... I mean, nothing says epic romance like abuse and teen pregnancy, right? If you have children that are already reading it, I suggest you have a sit down with them, explain to them that it is only a book, and definitely not a holy one.

I don't doubt that the idea may have ended up being a good read, if it was written better. No offense to Ms. Meyers, but I don't enjoy her writing at all. Any of it.

I do understand that some people like the books, however, and I've been fine about that. I've never once told someone they were stupid for liking them... and I've NEVER physically assaulted someone for liking the books... however, I will be more careful before openly announcing my distaste for the novel series, because apparently, my Twilight loving counterparts aren't as accepting.

I was made aware of some very frightening stories... stories of people being assaulted because they didn't like the books. Fans attacking non fans, because Twilight is a "holy book, and those who don't think so deserve what they get." Don't believe me? Here are a few accounts from people who have been attacked... I'll rank them how they're ranked for me: Slap-On-Wrist, Misdemeanor, and Felony... they may not actually be misdemeanors or felonies, but that's how they're ranked. I've tried to edit out all of the language used, if I missed one, I apologize... and if anyone has a problem with eyes - reading about them, touching them, etc. - don't read the last one. It made me twitch a bit.

SLAP ON WRIST:

I received this email today. And you're right, I am posting this on the boards for you. So everyone can see just how horrible some people can get over this. I won't post your email on here, but I will gladly give it out to whomever asks for it. They all deserve the right to defend themselves.

You've gotten my reply in an email. But I will say this here, in public. NEVER wish my babies dead again. NEVER make another threat against me like that again. Trust me... I will find a way to figure out who the hell you are. And you will regret it.

Here is the email:
I've been lurking on Amazon for quite some time and been wanting to say this. I can't post on Amazon, although I'm sure you'll do this for me. Stephanie Meyer is a goddess. Putting up with the bull**** that you and your Dark Siders constantly throw at her is so insane. Calling her out on Ellen? Really? How stupid and childish. Creating a website against her? Your 'precious' satire? Laughable. You Dark Siders are a sore on the literary world.

Faust, Agrippa, Obsidian, Charie, and Shantilly all think you can do no wrong. No one is better than you. Making your videos and writing your 'stories'. Please. If you think for one minute you have any effect on Stephanie, then you really have been living in a dream world. Get over yourselves. I will say it. It is just fiction. It is just a book. Love it or hate it - IT IS A BOOK.

Oh, and Liz, you are one of the worst. Creating the website... whatever. You don't deserve those precious babies you're carrying. They deserve a much better mother than you. For their sakes, I hope you miscarry.


MISDEMEANOR:
Okay, so I just want to say that I'm not a Twilight Hater, in fact I like the series. I read it looong before it was popular though, and what I do hate is how popular it's gotten and how suddenly EVERYONE knows about it.

I was re-reading a Harry Potter book in class (I like Harry Potter, shoot me) because we had a substitute teacher that didn't know what work we were supposed to be doing, so she left us to our own devices. Alicia, a girl in my class who I don't know that well comes up to me.

Her: Oh, Harry Potter? Does that mean you like Twilight?
Me: Yeah, it's pretty good.
Her: It's fantastic!
Me: I wouldn't go that far. I mean it's a good series, but it doesn't deserve all the hype it's gotten.
Her: Excuse me?
Me: What?
Her: Listen, I don't know what planet you're from, but Stephenie Meyer is a genius!
Me: No, she isn't. She's an average author, who wrote an average book!

She just stares at me angrily for quite a while, then obviously seeming to have decided on something, wrapped her hands around my throat. Shocked, my hand automatically shot up and hit her across the face. She continued to choke me, and out of anger and panic I kicked her square in the stomach. She released her grip and fell back against a table. Furious, I ran towards her and slapped her multiple times.

Finally my classmates tore me off of her and the substitute took me and the bitch up to the principal, where she got a weeks detention and I got two days. Not bad I guess, seeing as I made her bleed a little.


FELONY :
I study in an all-girl Christian school. Unfortunately, that does not keep it from being hit by the Twilight craze. So a lot of my classmates have become fans of the book, but most of them are sane and I get along with them perfectly fine, even with a few serious fangirls. There is one girl who I absolutely cannot stand.

For all intents and purposes I will call her Princess - pretty much because she acts like one.

Princess has spent a lot of her life (and every summer) living in France. Normally I would find that cool or interesting, but she brags about it way too much and is a total Francophile (she wears a beret, namedrops French celebrities, etc.). What annoys most of us is when she shows off that she can speak a little French (again, would be awesome if she wasn't such a showoff).

So when the Twilight craze hit our school, she of course went right into reading it. It annoyed me that she would run up to random classmates and ask them, "Have you read Twilight?" and when they half-heartedly answer "Yeah", she goes,

"I read it! Both the English and the French version. Did you know that they don't translate their names? Like Jacob Black stays Jacob Black and not Jacob Noir."

An anti friend and I were laughing about this one day, where she said, "I bet the French version of Twilight is called Toilette." Lame joke, I know, but we laughed anyway.

Unfortunately, little miss Princess heard this and stormed up to us, holding a French translation of Twilight. Their cover is the same, except it's called Tenation or Temptation in English. She started ranting to us about how we should respect such a holy book and that we were sinning by making fun of it. (What do you expect from a shallow Catholic schoolgirl?)

So I said, "C'mon, Princess, we were just joking." Of course, this never wins over a rabid, so she swore in mixed French/English and maturely shoved me from my chair and onto the ground. Luckily, a nun entered the classroom at this moment and took her away to "have a talk". We overheard her defending herself by repeating "It's a holy book!"

Sometimes I don't understand how someone can be multilingual but can also be... this.


Anyway, today was our last day of school before the Christmas break, and it was already dismissal time. I'm heading towards the exit, when I realize that someone is closely following me. Forget the suspense, yeah, it was Princess. Y'see, she's extra girly. Being in a Catholic all-girl school, we're required a uniform and black shoes - hers have a hundred inch heels. And she's wearing those fake stick-on sharp, long nails.

She's pretty much boiling mad, probably trying to get revenge for my getting her in trouble with the nuns a few days earlier. She's holding the same French Twilight in her hand, her "holy book". She says, "I hate you." I try to ignore her and greet Merry Christmas to a friend passing by. Then she shoves me in the back and I stumble over, but regain my balance. I shout, "Hey, stop that!"

She starts hitting me with her French Twilight book, screaming something along the lines of "YOU'RE AN IDIOT FOR NOT LIKING TWILIGHT! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF BELLA! YOU'LL NEVER GET IT! BLAH BLAH EDDYKINS BLAH BLAH!"

A few people have stopped to stare, others trying to come near to help me but not get hit by her book. I try to defend myself by holding my hands up to my face, but that just hits the book out of her hand. With nothing else, she starts scratching me in the face with her fake nails.

I stupidly open my eyes for a moment when her fingernail comes into my right eye. I get this horrible, horrible horrible stinging feeling, and my right cheek felt sort of wet. I don't know where the fangirl ran off to, I was sort of crouched down and too panicked to open either of my eyes. I put a hand up to my eye and can't tell whether it's wet from blood or tears, but from the gasps and screams from bystanders I figure I'm bleeding. Two friends then help me up and bring me to the clinic. I learn later there's this huge, deep and infected gash across my eye - it'll heal in time, but it's pretty damaged.

So now I have this gauze pad over my eye. It only stings a little now, but I can manage. What sucks is that it's currently a school break so I can't go to the principal and complain, but my mom is planning to contact the fangirl's parents somehow.

Moral of the story: Twilight makes my eyes bleed in so many ways.


This is why it's very important to make your children - or yourself, if you're the one reading them - understand that it's just a book. I was talking about it with Jordan, and she told me that her friend pointed out that no other fandom has ever been this insane. Not Harry Potter, not Star Trek, not Star Wars, not Lord of the Rings, NOTHING... the only thing that I can think of that has fans near as crazy would be boy band cult followings... but even then, at least THEY'RE freaking out about REAL PEOPLE. These people are jumping, scratching, punching, even trying to DROWN people over a BOOK. A BOOK.

Once more, say it with me now: A BOOK.

It's just a book. Vampires don't exist (if they did, they wouldn't sparkle and treat you like a princess, they'd bite you and die in the sunlight like good vampires), and I'm sorry, but someone standing around your room while you sleep and following you everywhere... we have a word for that. It's not vampire... it's um... what's that word... oh yeah: STALKER. Werewolves don't exist, either... and... Robert Pattinson existed before he was Edward Cullen. Just so you all know. (HARRY POTTER FANS UNITE!)

I understand that there are a lot of sane fans out there... I know some of them... but that doesn't make this thing any less scary. I think we all need to sit people down and talk to them about it; remind our children that it's just a book, and it's not worth fighting over. Honestly, I'm kind of frightened just writing this blog out. A part of me doesn't even want to post this, because I could be walking down the street and get jumped one of these days... but someone needs to say something. This is sooo not okay with me... someone's going to end up getting killed... over what? A book? No... over a poorly written book (fan or not, you can't deny that). All because some people can't discern between real life and fantasy.

And, for your safety, if anyone asks you if you like Twilight, just say you do. Edward's awesome, and you wanna be Bella so bad, it hurts. And Jacob sucks. You should be safe... if they ask you what your favorite part is, run like the wind. Run as fast as your legs will carry you, pack your things, move to a new city, and change your name. It's the only way. Me being me, I'll probably still say I don't like it... and I'll probably end up getting my butt kicked someday... but I know the risks of having literary taste, and I'm pressing on. It's kind of like being a police officer, except not as honorable, and I don't get a gun. Or a badge... I should make a badge... any way... just be warned. Talk to your children... drive home the fact that it's not a holy book... and remind them it's NOT OKAY TO HURT PEOPLE.

And I feel Ms. Meyers should be made aware of this and make a public statement, maybe that will help the attacks to stop.

Let's get this.

~Lauren

To read the rest of the accounts, go HERE. They're all categorized.

P.S. If you're a fan of Twilight, but not an INSANE one, I hope you don't take offense to this. Like I said, I have a bunch of friends who are fans and aren't insane... so I know those people exist. I mean no offense to anyone who likes Twilight whatsoever... until you attack me for not liking it. :D

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

0 comments: